LGBTIQ+ individuals struggling to survive in Van due to the difficult and expensive living conditions offered by big cities told their stories of being discovered, as well as the rights violations and difficulties they faced in the city. LGBTIQ+ individuals, Ş.Ş and R.K, draw attention to the bullying they are subjected to by saying, “If something happens to us, there is no one to defend us.”
Although it is difficult in Van, LGBTIQ+ individuals are forced to prefer a more isolated life with their own community members, away from social life, except for 8 March International Women’s Day, Newroz and 1 May, which are among the mass events where they are visible in the society. The Ah Tamara LGBTI+ platform, which was established in Turkey and specifically in Van in 2015, was closed after more than 2 years. Platform member Sinan Akyüz (Neçirvan) died on June 3, 2015 by committing suicide due to social and family pressures.
Ş.Ş and R.K, who live in Van and are LGBTIQ+ individuals, told Serhat News about the difficulties of discovering themselves and being LGBTIQ+ individuals in the city.
The lesbian S. and R. do not want to reveal their names and surnames due to social and security concerns.
‘I discovered my true self at the age of 15-16’
21-year-old Ş.Ş, who is preparing for university and living with his friend, is one of those who could not find a job due to the crisis. Ş, who devoted her life completely to herself and her hobbies, describes her first self-discovery process with these words: “At the age of 15-16 I realized that I did not feel anything towards men. I had a boyfriend but I couldn’t feel anything for him. I felt uncomfortable during our contacts. Then I realized that I have a special feeling towards women. This feeling scared me at first. Because liking a woman is not very common in our culture or something that is viewed very positively. But I did not escape from my own reality and formed my identity.”
‘My family looked at me like I was disgusting’
Ş. stated that heterosexuals call themselves ‘abnormal’ as well as their looks are disturbing. When she reveals to her family that she is one of the LGBTIQ+ individuals, being treated as if nothing has happened to her causes Ş to continue her life in the same way. Introducing his girlfriend in his life to his family, Ş said, “I hung my flag in my house. However, they did not understand this. I talked to my sister and at first I thought she would understand me. However, she also accused me of being homophobic, saying, “I should be like that, it’s not me, you’re deceiving myself”. My sister’s homophobia was reflected in my family as well. I broke up with my parents and I couldn’t talk to my family anymore, they looked at me like a disgusting person. I was living separately from my family and I couldn’t even go to see them anymore. I went up against them and they had to accept me along with the woman in my life. I’ve seen psychological violence, but not much physical violence,” she says.
‘There are too many LGBTIQ+ individuals living secretly in Van’
Stating that she clearly states who she is wherever she goes, Ş says that homophobic people reveal themselves very clearly and images with hateful content directed at LGBTIQ+s are posted. Ş said, “When we tear off such visuals and posters, they repeat this. Against these, I would love to have an LGBTI march or Pride parade in Van. Because I am both an individual and a big supporter. Top secret LGBTIQ+ individuals continue their lives in Van. Because the family may use violence and even attempt to murder LGBTIQ+ individuals. There is no one who can defend us behind us, so we cannot do anything,” she records.
‘As long as you look at the ground, you will not be able to see the sky’
Ş shares the joy of unfurling the LGBTI flags on March 8, International Women’s Day and that they did not face any intervention. Ş continues to say the following: “We are everywhere and we will never give up. You won’t be able to see the rainbow as long as you look down.”
R’s teacher, who hasn’t discovered herself yet: ‘Are you a lesbian?’
R. K is 22 years old and lives in Van. Discovering herself at a young age, R first becomes interested in his school teacher. After the incident broke out at school, R, who met with the guidance counselor, describes the dialogue with the guidance teacher with these words: “The subject was brought up from the teacher I was interested in. I was a little nervous of course, when the subject was brought up, he asked, ‘What kind of interest is this normal teacher-student relationship, do you like girls or boys?’ I blushed, embarrassed, panicked. I jumped right in saying ‘girl’. I see close to girls, the room asked me, ‘Are you a lesbian?’ I haven’t discovered myself yet. I don’t know what a lesbian is. I turned red. I said, ‘No, there is no such thing, of course, I like men.’ I didn’t have a boyfriend yet, it made me think of the word lesbian, and then I researched it and I didn’t accept it myself.”
‘We are not one person, we are many, get used to it, we are everywhere’
Saying that being an LGBTIQ+ individual is a difficult life, R. emphasizes that when she comes back to the world, she wants to come back as an LGBTIQ+ individual. Saying that she has not been subjected to violence by his family, her biggest supporter is her older sister, R briefly describes the problems she experienced with her family as follows: “They knew that there were times when I didn’t accept myself yet, they were aware, they just never hit me in the face. Even once, I was never asked a question, ‘Are you like this?’ I had a girlfriend and I sent them her photo as ‘darling’. They told me ‘we knew’. Then I told my mother, my mother said to me ‘your life is your decision’, my mother was not so conservative back then as she is now. Unfortunately, I can’t see my mother with me right now, but no matter what, I never feel uncomfortable with my rainbow color and my own self, I don’t hide my identity. There is nothing to be afraid of, we are not one person, we are many, get used to it, we are everywhere.”
Serhat News
Translator:Akif Coşkun
